The General theory of Procrastination

Assumptions:
1) Agents are graduate students.
2) Agents try to maximize their periods of breaks subject to surprise visits or meeting by advisors or exams and quizzes.
3) Agents use adaptive expectations to make decisions.
4) Agents have complete information about the schedules of their advisors.
5) Agents have access to 24 hours of internet service.

The theory:
The general theory of procrastination states that agents tend to procrastinate for an amount of time such that
G= S
where,
G=Guilt
S=Satisfaction.
The theory states that in general, agents tend to procrastinate for periods long enough to equate guilt and satisfaction. There might be a drift towards positions of non equilibrium, where G>S or G<S. In case where G is greater than S, the agent tries to procrastinate less until the point of G=S is reached. In a rare case of G less than S, the agent procrastinates more to reach the point of equilibrium.


Further explanation:
Though guilt and satisfaction have somewhat opposite meanings, the force of procrastination ensures that at the end of each day agents end up feeling guilty and satisfied by the same amount. The feeling of guilt is usually triggered by the sense of not having done the work one was expected to do and the feeling of satisfaction comes from the newly acquired knowledge about the latest apple gizmos and general state of affairs (provided general state of affairs has nothing to do with ones own research 'interest' or course work).

Criticisms:
The theory has been criticized for not having mathematical rigor and that the assumptions are restricting.

Response:
The theorists are obviously procrastinating and therefore are unable to present a rigorous mathematical model for the theory.
The assumptions far from being restricting draw heavily from reality.